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 Best Joke You've Ever Heard

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xtriicksta

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PostSubject: Best Joke You've Ever Heard   Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:54 pm

Opposite to my other thread.
What is or are the BEST jokes you have ever heard?
Let me start it off,

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PostSubject: Re: Best Joke You've Ever Heard   Fri Jan 14, 2011 3:56 pm

hrmmm the best joke i ever heard had to been about the lizard and the monkey. its a bit of a long joke but here it is.

A lizard was walking down the bank of a river in the forest, when he smelled something funny and looked up in the tree to find a monkey. The lizard said "Hey monkey what you doing up there in that tree?" The monkey replies "Smoking a join wanna join me?" So the lizard climbs up and smokes with the monkey. The lizard gets cottonmouth and tells monkey "Imma go get something to drink im thirsty!" While the lizard is drinking some water from the river he suddenly falls in. O_O!!!! A crocadile say's "Lil cuz what you doing in the big river with us?" Lizard replied "I found a monkey in a tree with some really good weed and he smoked with me i got thirsty and lost my balance." Crocadile asked where was the monkey and lizard told him. As the croc walked up to the monkey saying "Hey monkey wanna smoke with me?" Monkey looked down and said in a shoking manor "WHAT THE HELL LIZARD YOU DRINK THE WHOLE RIVER??????"

Yeah its long but when you see the theatrics that go along with the joke its much much funnier lol!!!! ok guys im out for a bit hope to see more activity on the forums and a bigger allianc with more people when i am back see you soon hopefully ^^ afro
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xtriicksta

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PostSubject: Re: Best Joke You've Ever Heard   Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:06 pm

Haha. Thats funny lmao have a good vacation Smile
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Yukinojo

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PostSubject: The Rooster   Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:10 pm

One of my fave all-time jokes:

A farmer in need of a rooster for his hen-house drives into the city. Finding a rooster, on his way back home, he has the feathered friend in the cab with him.

"Alright Rooster..." says the Farmer, "I've got a lot of chickens in that hen-house. I need you to take your time with them. If you wear yourself out, you're no good to me, understand?"

The rooster nodded in agreement. Pulling into the gravel driveway, as soon as the Farmer opened his door to get out of the truck, the rooster shot out of the vehicle and right for the hen house. Feathers go flying, and the Farmer can hear the chickens inside going crazy. The rooster is going nuts.

"He'd better not wear himself out..." The farmer says to himself as he gets out of the truck and heads for his house. A minute later though, the rooster comes shooting out of the hen house, looking all over the place.

Seeing some cows, he darts off after them, and proceeds to fuck the cows. The farmer watches in amazement as this one rooster single-handedly seems to fuck everything on his farm. Cows, sheep, dog, cat, ducks, chickens...if it's on this farm, it gets screwed by this rooster.

The farmer surprised, shakes his head and goes inside for dinner.

A while later the farmer comes back outside to find the rooster lying in the middle of the driveway, apparently worn out and dying. Vultures fly overhead. This rooster is a goner.

The farmer darts over to the rooster, obviously more then a little upset, "I told you to pace yourself! Look at you! You're no good to me like this..."

The rooster, watching the vultures as they fly overhead whispers back to the farmer, "Shhh...they're getting closer...."
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PostSubject: Re: Best Joke You've Ever Heard   Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:07 pm

Wow! Haha lmao.
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